Do you like fairies? I like fairies. Fairies are pretty, no, fairies are beautiful. I’ve never met a fairy, but I would love to meet a fairy. Everybody says that I was kissed by a fairy, that’s why I have this little red birthmark on my cheek. At least, that’s what everyone says. Looks more like a hand to me. Why would a fairy slap me, though? I’d never try to hurt a fairy. If I have a child, I’ll happily give it to the fairies, then maybe they’ll come more often.
I could’ve sworn I saw a fairy in my husband’s laboratory once. He says that fairies aren’t real. He says that the science proves that they don’t exist. If they don’t exist, then why is he experimenting on them? He’s not a very good scientist. He doesn’t even like the birthmark on my cheek. He says that I’m so pretty, it’s ugly. Or am I so ugly, it’s pretty? It has to be pretty if he wants to take it off of my face, because then he could keep it. But, why can’t he keep it on my face? I know I can keep it safe. Maybe it just doesn’t look pretty on me. That makes the most sense.
Oh, did I mention that the birthmark keeps me alive? No, really. I exist as long as the birthmark does, no longer, no shorter. No shorter, no taller. What’s a taller anyways? A person who’s taller, of course. Silly me. Why don’t they call other things like that more often? Why don’t we call evil people evils, and good people goods? That’d make things a whole lot easier. If we called them evils, we could know who they all were. I should write to a statesman on this. We can just put all of the evils in jail, and the goods can all live happily and safely. Hey, I should find more fairies to slap me. If the one slap keeps me alive, how much more alive would the others make me? Then I can travel around the world to tell people to call the evil peoples evils so we can make them all go away.
Oh well, I can’t exactly find another fairy to slap me. See, my husband locked me up and tried to remove the birthmark. It worked, but remember what I said about the birthmark? Yeah. I didn’t have it anymore, so I died.